Matt -I don’t know you — at all, but after reading this and the addiction essay you wrote (and glancing at many other “how to fall in love and overcome anxiety” — I have this to encourage you on a few fronts.

First, I have been happily marrried for 34 years. I am Leo the Late Bloomer. Married at 29, first child at 31, second at 34 — and did not dealwith any anxiety until 32. I tried lots of things to deal with the panic of all the responsibilities. Finally, I was advised to see a psychatrist.That was 32 years ago and it changed my life. I was very opposed to any medicine — butI realized that all that was hitting me was enormous pressure (teacher, husband, father, yada yada,) So if that is a course of action for you (if) then do not be anxious about being anxious and seeking help.

As for addiction — hmm. You are 40 years my junior I think. Some of what you are feeling is just ‘what it is’ at your age. A relationship with a fairly ‘sexual’ young person might just ‘stem the tide…so to speak. I think what I want to say (teacher hat on) is that you are really really normal. The addictions that are damaging i.e. drugs, drinking, violence, — those are the things to be concerned about.

I hope you find the person who shares your values and your ‘appitite’ and, remember, patience is the virtue. I was. Good luck.